Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Choices
My knee jerk reaction is to say no way, you're staying here with me. I don't know how much of that is selfish though. I would miss her! There are lots of reasons why we decided to homeschool, and I knew I wanted to before she was even born. Her favorite subject is Bible, and she wouldn't get that in public. I know that there would be lots of good things that could come from her going too though. I don't want to make a decision without exploring every option.
One big fear I have is that this could be a very short-lived idea. She wants to see what it's like because she's never been. If we decide to do it, and after a week she hates it and wants to come home, then what? I'm not going to be pulling her in and out of school on her whim. She is not the boss of this. I want God to be the boss of this. But my other big fear is that I will not be able to listen to His voice because what I want is so loud. I want her here. And I want her to WANT to be here.
She cried for so long. She was so upset about it. She was afraid that it would make me sad for her to tell me and that I would be angry at her. I hope I was able to reassure her that she can always talk to me about anything.
I am glad she mentioned it before I buy first grade curriculum. But I'm not going to stop looking at it either. We still have a few months before a final decision has to be made. And I just can't get past... what would I do without my girl home with me? She'll be barely six. I know everybody else sends their kids off to school. But I wasn't going to have to. I don't want to. We just finished reading The Voyages of Dr. Doolittle this afternoon. She's learning to subtract. She can count by 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, and 10s. Her handwriting is improving by leaps and bounds. She can sound out words and read books to herself. And we did that together. The thought of somebody else seeing those moments and being her teacher makes me want to cry.
How much should a kindergartener/first grader be involved in the decision? Is it too heavy-handed to just say, "this is what we're doing and it's not up for discussion" ? And for all I know, she could totally forget about this by tomorrow morning and I'll have stayed up late agonizing for nothing.
Argh. Prayers appreciated.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Heavy Bedtime Reading
The next novel better be some fluffy stuff, let me tell you what. After this one and Twenty And Ten (about hiding Jewish kids during WWII), we're ready for a break from the hard topics!
Friday, January 9, 2009
A Hard, But Ultimately Satisfying Day
Then we walked by the elementary school she would be going to if we weren't homeschooling, right as the recess bell rang and all the kindergarteners ran out to play. Five of her Sunday school friends go there and I felt so miserable as I watched her with her little face pressed up to the fence. She started crying and told me she didn't want to homeschool anymore- that she wanted to go to public school and get to have all those friends.
When we got home she curled up on the couch and just looked completely beaten down. It was awful. I went and snuggled with her and asked her to tell me what she was feeling. She said her tummy hurt and she didn't know how to explain it. I said I thought the word she was thinking of was "lonely" and she burst into tears and said yes, she is so lonely, and WHY aren't there any other five year old girls who homeschool?
We had a really good talk. I told her that her daddy and I are convinced this is what God wants us to do this year, but that we would pray about it and if she wanted to try public school next year we would see where He leads us. I told her all the things I love about her, and how much fun it is to be her teacher, and how much I would miss her if she went to school all day. She wouldn't get to do Bible anymore, and it's not like going to public school means you automatically have lots of friends. I told her about hard times I had in school where people teased me or I felt lonely too.
After she settled down and thought about it some more, she started getting worried that I actually might send her to school, and telling me how much she would miss her brother, and that she wants to stay home and do school together. We're finishing book one of her math program this week- she's halfway there and she's so proud of everything she's learned.
Tonight we watched Because of Winn-Dixie, which I had bought on impulse a year ago when it was on sale cheap. I didn't even know what it was about, but it was a girl who was lonely, and it seemed to go along perfectly with some of the things we had discussed. Now she wants to check the book out of the library and read it so we can see if it's different from the movie, and she's excited that it's another Newbery book. She's bouncing back, and I've promised her that I'm going to try to see if we can somehow join a group for her to meet other five year olds "like me". Ones who homeschool, Mama, and love God...
I love her so much. It's so hard sometimes to be sure we're making the right choice, and that I'm giving her what she needs, especially on days like this. But the thing is, I can't imagine doing anything else.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
And Then Crickets Chirped...
I'm still kind of struggling with the purpose of writing it in the first place. I guess in my shiny naivete I had hoped there would be a-ha moments every day and I could showcase her fabulous skillz or something. I don't know. And instead I find myself thinking about every 4-6 weeks, oh... I should write something. And all I can think to say is the same old stuff. She likes Bible. She doesn't like much else. Reading to her gets old for both of us. I wish she was learning to read faster. She is making lots of progress though. We discovered a series about fairies that she likes, and I've been reading her a bunch of that. Even though it's not official curriculum, I'm pleased that she still wants me to read to her outside of schoolwork stuff.
We never did make it to the zoo. However, I worked with Robin Hood and he is the king of animal sounds now. He knows so many that it makes me laugh. We're also working on colors and shapes, and I'm trying to do a bunch of counting stuff with him too because right now he looks at me like I'm crazy when I ask him to do it. Randomly, he'll throw the next number in the series in though, so I know he understands at least something about the process. Maid Marian was counting to 9 for something the other day and he was running after her yelling TEN! TEN!
She's really good at counting by tens now and has finally mastered fives as well. We're having a good time. I need to stop stressing. We're on Christmas break this week but I didn't tell her that, so we're catching up on some of the stuff we're behind on. It's working out nicely.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Focus On Science
Then there's a field journal, which she loves the idea of, since Diego keeps one too. She was annoyed that it doesn't talk and look exactly like his, but hey, it's a twelve dollar book. There are sections for each kind of animal and a little scavenger hunt type thing where you fill in spaces with information about each critter as you walk around and see them. Or, if you don't live near a zoo they call this a "field trip in a book", and you can read about all the animals and fill out the journal at home, which is cool.
Then there are word finds and mazes and questions and coloring sheets and all kinds of stuff to do after you get home.
We're all really excited about the trip and I love that we're doing so much prep work. The meerkats were her favorite animal anyway, and now that she knows one of their adaptations is their social life and the way they work in groups, I think she's going to have even more fun watching them.
Robin Hood is excited too. He's learning the names of all the animals and the sounds they make. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he realizes how BIG lions and elephants really are!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
And A Month Has Gone By?
Most, actually *all* of the other families I know who homeschool do it a few days a week and then do some kind of enrichment program. We're not able to do that right now, so I'm really feeling the burden of making sure she gets EVERYTHING from me. There are more and more days that I feel overwhelmed with trying to get different things discussed or read, and also more and more days that it's like pulling teeth to get her to sit down and listen.
I helped out in her Sunday school class last week and she seems to be right on schedule- there are four kids in there that attend the school we're zoned for, and they were counting by tens and writing their names and talking about a lot of the same things we've been doing. So I don't really feel behind right now. I just worry that I'm not instilling a good work ethic or love of learning. I do want her to really value education and feel that it's always exciting to learn new things. On the one hand, if 3 out of 5 days a week we blow off part of school just because she (or I!) am not in the mood, I don't feel like that's sending a good message. On the other hand, we talk constantly and she asks probing questions and makes connections. We're learning about choices and housework and cooking. I know she's learning from the world around her. And we do at least some daily schoolwork most days, even if we don't get through all of it.
I'm just not sure if it's enough. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not doing a very good job. I suppose it's normal to second guess yourself as a mom, no matter what choices you make. I just wish we knew somebody else around here that we could get together with so that we didn't feel so alone. I want some reassurance that things are going well.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Reading Good Stuff
We're already on chapter 4 of Elmer and the Dragon. I'm so glad she loves to be read to- I love to do it!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
We're Back!
I'm ready to be back. Having a week off was really nice, but I think we both are missing the time together and the reading.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Fall Break
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
See, THIS Is Why I Picked Sonlight!
The other email was a notification that my last post had a comment from some guy named Luke. About three people read this blog, so I was curious. And it was Luke Holzmann, Sarita's son, who is now grownup and works for Sonlight and was sorry we are bored with the book and had even more ideas for us.
Thank you guys! This totally makes me want to get back on track and work harder to like the book and implement more of the strategies and all that stuff. Maid Marian was really excited about the comment from Luke after I told her who he was. WOW MOMMY! He reads the blog about my school? OH MY GOODNESS!!
He's right. Sonlight is not just a company that sells you books and leaves you hanging out there. We have felt all along like these people actually care whether or not school goes well for us, and that makes me so grateful.
Monday, September 29, 2008
What Week Is This?...
The book we started reading after we finished The Boxcar Children is The Apple and the Arrow and I find it excruciatingly boring so far. It's hard to keep her attention- I think it's pretty far above kindergarten comprehension level. Amazon.com says ages 9-12. Hmm. Sonlight always says to tailor the curriculum to suit your family, but I feel guilty just throwing something out, and I'm not sure what to put in its place. Right now we're avoiding it and working on other things. She says she wants to learn all about dinosaurs, and I don't really have anything to give her for that, so maybe we'll go to the library this week and get some books that are more interesting.
Officially it's week 6. We're in week 7 for math, right on schedule for Bible and language, and a bit behind in poetry. We've been doing lots of Bible stuff lately- they're memorizing the books of the Old Testament in her Sunday school class and I think she only knows up to Judges so far, but she's supposed to know through Psalms. :) For me she's memorized Romans 3:23, Acts 16:31, Colossians 3:20, and Matthew 7:12 so far. We're using Sing the Word from A-Z (music in the link, watch out!) and she'll be learning 26 verses throughout the year, one for each letter of the alphabet. They're fun. Typing this I was singing in my head, "Colossians 3, verse 20, obey obey, Colossians 3, verse 20, obey obey, Colossians 3, verse 20, obey obey, for this pleases the Lord!" I like the way they include the address in the song. We have Steve Green's Hide 'Em in Your Heart, and she knows a lot of those verses but he doesn't work the reference into the song so she never learned where they're found in the Bible. This is better for that. We're both learning.
Robin Hood is making good progress on his animals and colors. Right now he's obsessed with rabbits. He likes to throw them at people and then look at me innocently and say, "HOP!" Like, this is what rabbits do, mom, don't get on my case!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Story Elaboration
Here's the original story:
Luke swam. Luke won.
Questions it suggested I ask her to include: How did he swim? When? How many other kids were in the race? What did he win? How did he feel?
Here's her elaboration:
Luke swam in a swimming pool on October 29 and he had one thousand kids with him swimming. He was very short, but he was the fastest of everybody! He won candy in a silver cup, and also a gold medal. He felt glad and happy and then he went home. The End.
Not too bad for a first attempt. Some of my sixth graders didn't get that many details on the first try. :)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Week 4
Somebody gave us a copy of the kindergarten science program, which I hadn't ordered, and Maid Marian is really excited about it. Most of it deals with nature and trees and the way God made the world, which is right up her alley. It looks like it's going to have a unit on simple machines though, and some other stuff that it will be good for her to know. We went on a nature walk last night and picked up a bunch of leaves, and then brought them back and looked them up in the field guide we got from the library. She's having a good time.
We've finished The Boxcar Children and are going to be starting part of James Herriot's kids' stories next. The math is getting a bit more challenging- she's learning to count by tens and do simple addition problems properly. It's still pretty easy for her, but she does have to think about it now.
So, off to do some reading while she does copywork. If you'd like her to write you a letter, tell her! She's getting good at writing and loves sending out mail.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Ancient Egypt Connections
So. Last night we were out and were driving by this really smelly open area a few miles from our house. I'd always thought it was an old landfill, although my mom informed me later she thinks it might be a water treatment plant instead. But anyway, it smells like the dump. Things have gotten better lately- there used to be trucks there, and bare dirt, and birds circling around. Now it looks like they've finished using it or are trying to make it better- grass has grown over the top of it and it only smells on really hot days.
She was noticing how nice the houses were in the neighborhood right next to it, and I told her we had looked at a few of them when we were buying our house but decided not to move there because of the smell. As we drove by the plant, she saw the grass, and realized that it didn't smell anymore.
Light bulb moment for a five year old, I think!
She said, "Oh, there's grass now. So the yucky stuff is buried and it doesn't smell so much. It's like when the ancient Egyptians used to put spices on the dead people and bury them in the pyramids. The grass is like the spices, so we can't smell the dead stuff."
maybe it's not a perfect analogy, but I love that she's thinking about the things she's learning and trying to make connections in her world. So smart, my girl.
Monday, September 8, 2008
What do you want to be when you grow up?
“I would like to be a doctor.”
Really? I had no idea. What kind of doctor do you want to be?
“A vet! For cats and dogs and small stuff. But only small dogs. I like small ones but not huge dogs.”
Okay. Well. Where do you want to go to college?
“Um, by my house.”
Where will you live after college?
“Um, home! I think so. Maybe? Where are you supposed to live after college? Don't say that I want to live home.”
Do you want to get married?
“Yes, I want to get married, whenever God wants me to.”
What’s your favorite place in the whole wide world?
“Um, home and the farm.”
Besides that?
“Um, I think that is Faraway City, going to see Daddy at his job."
What’s your favorite thing to do with your daddy?
“Have special dates- I like to do lots of things. I like to color and go to restaurants with him and give him lots and lots of hugs and kisses.”
What about with me?
“I think doing school and hugs and kisses and going shopping."
What are your favorite books?
“My big princess book. And also my Bob books because I can learn different words and read by myself."
What are your favorite toys?
“My carriage and all my dolls."
What’s your favorite thing to do outside?
“Take walks."
What’s your favorite song?
“‘I've got two favorites, the one you sing to me every night and the one you sing to my brother."
(That would be Annabel by Don Henley with her name in place of Annabel, and Away From the Roll of the Sea, which is a gorgeous lullaby type thing I learned in high school choir.)
What are your favorite movies?
“The Princess Bride and Sleeping Beauty. And Ariel. Those are my most favorite.”
What is your favorite game?
“The one where you.... oh, bingo on the TV and also the one with the little guys. You know, the one on the tv where you watch and get Nemo... oh, never mind...."
(she means Disney Scene It, I think)
What do you know about God?
“I know that He is powerful than us. And He's way far away from us. I think. Yeah. And He loves us lots and He died to save our sins and... that's all. I think."
What do you think about kindergarten so far?
“I love it. My favorite thing of the day! The reading, and the math, and mostly all of it."
Anything else you want to say?
“Uh, can I say I love being together as a family? I love being a family. And I hope ... would it be okay if we invite friends over? And can you help me pour some milk now? I'm done talking." That's all I want to say. Thank you. This is Maid Marian."
Well. Fair enough, then.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Week 2
The Labor Day holiday has thrown us off a bit for week 2, plus we've had other things going on and she hasn't been in much of a school mood. I finally told her today that it wasn't a choice, that everybody who was five HAD to do kindergarten, and it was her choice whether she would listen to me and do work here, or if we needed to think about sending her down the road. I hate to use that as a threat- if we ever do decide to send her to public school I don't want her to think it's a punishment. On the other hand, I DO sort of feel like it would be a punishment and I don't really plan to do it. There's no teeth in that argument, but just the thought of having to go away to school made her buckle down and do some work, so there you have it.
Now she's leaning over my shoulder watching me type and saying, "Dog. You almost typed dog before, with the capital letters, but you didn't put the G. What word is that? Dog with no G?"
Anyway, what's working this week is to let her pick one book or activity, and just to keep working with it until she's tired. We've done all the poetry for the week and she's on lesson 16 I think in math. She says after lunch she wants to do Bible stories, and I'm just going to chug ahead until she begs me to quit. The curriculum is a guide, not a stranglehold around our necks. We can adjust it to suit ourselves.
And on the animal front, Robin Hood will roar at me now if I show him the fisher price lion. He still calls it a dog, and he watched a documentary on lions with his daddy and didn't recognize that's what they were. So clearly there is more work to be done. But his roar is adorable.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Day 4
But first we're off to the grocery store to get picnic fodder. We're going to watch the new Ariel movie and eat on the floor tonight. Because she doesn't have to get up crazy early for school tomorrow. :)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Day 3
I realized there's a study guide for history that I was supposed to be reading ahead of time, and it had a whole bunch of stuff in it about Martin Luther that frankly confused me. They said the book I was reading was written inaccurately and had a strong Protestant bias and might anger some readers and that Luther would be studied again a few years down the road and that it was okay to skip it for now if it didn't make sense. And yeah, that didn't make sense. So we blew off the history reading for today, but did do some more map work because they had a blow-up of Germany to discuss the different towns in the reading.
We've done our poetry and copywork for the day, and we'll read more Boxcar Children later, so officially we're still right on track. I just feel like we didn't do anything today.
And oh yeah, I have two kids! I need to be making a list of goals for Robin Hood and figure out what I want him to learn this year. He's never been to the zoo, and we haven't gone in so long that Maid Marian barely remembers going either, so I know I want to do a lot of animal work with him. It's still too hot to go, but we're planning a trip for the fall. I'm going to do a lot of Little People zoo "work" with him and teach him the animal names. I haven't gotten in the floor and just played with him lately.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Noah's Ark
Anyway, Marian's in the mood now to play with her Noah's Pals, and I always love watching her interact with the animals. She has quite a few now, having spent all her birthday money on ordering more. Today they're having a race. She's lining them all up in order from smallest to largest and dividing them into two teams. So far the line seems to be between Owen and Olivia Ostrich. She gets to run with the small team. I'm thinking she'll smoke the skunks and kinkajous. Something's not quite fair there.
She talks to them constantly as she works, and I love the way she can remember all the names they came with. "Okay, Blake, you run next to Taylor, and be nice this time...." "Hayden lost his ear last time running on the rocks, he needs to be more careful!" She's discussing the creation of special saddles to put on the bigger animals so they can carry the smaller ones who can't run well. It's so cute. She's in a really creative mood.
Then she tells me, "I have some bad animals, Mama. Some of them CHEAT! and also LIE! And that is not nice." I ask why do they do that? and she says very seriously, "It's because they're from the devil." I had to work so hard to keep a straight face. She's been asking a lot of deep spiritual questions in the car lately about angels and God and the devil and I know she's really been mulling it over. I told her she needed to try to show all her animals God's love then, so they wouldn't want to stay with the devil, and so now they're getting lessons. She's got them all lying down to take a nap before the race and she's talking to them very earnestly.
"There is just ONE God. There is not, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eightnineten Gods. And He loves you! You should love Him too...."
Day 2
~She is now on Lesson 8 in the math book and can't get enough of it. I figure her enthusiasm may slow down later on, so I don't mind her getting a bit ahead right now. It'll give us wiggle room if we need it in a few months or get caught up in other topics.
~We are in the middle of chapter 4 in The Boxcar Children. Same situation there.
~We've read some poetry this morning: "hello and good-by" and also some Mother Goose rhymes. Little Bo Peep (I wrote Poop at first, whoops) and that has more verses than I remember, by the way. We also read Little Boy Blue and Rain.
~more Martin Luther discussion and she's actually starting to get into it a bit. She wanted to get out the map and have me show her where Rome is and how far from his hometown in Germany that would be if they made him go there for his trial, and we talked about how it took much longer to get places without the modern transportation we have now.
~We also worked on her Book of Time. I can't say enough good things about this. Even if you don't use Sonlight, I think every kid should have this book. It makes time much more concrete for her. It comes with stickers for all the major events and people we'll be discussing this year, so we put in Adam and Eve, Martin Luther, and a bunch of family birthdays and anniversaries so she can see how it all fits together. She had no idea how many years ago ML's birthday was (1483) until she had to turn SO MANY pages backward from her birthday to put his sticker in.
The only thing we haven't done for today's work is read the bible story. Pages 12-16- I'm not sure what story it is. I think maybe Noah's Ark. And then I'm sure we'll work with the Book of Time some more because there's a sticker for that too.
She asked me today why it takes so long for everybody else to do school and have to be there all day when we get finished so quick. :) She's catching on already.